They spread Violence, beat innocent people, cause traffic jams, spread hate among youth etc.

This!!

Bajrang Dal

First of all, let me tell you who they are. They claim to be an organization that represents “Hinduitva” or in simple words, they are a religious group. Also their name is derived from the name “Bajrang Bali” (Hindu diety Hanuman). Based on this, you'll definitely think that they do religious practices like helping others, feeding the poor, spreading messages of God everywhere etc.

But, look at the above picture again. Do they look like what they claim to be? Definitely not!

So, now let me tell you what they really do.

Yes, this is the exact thing that they do.

They spread Violence, beat innocent people, cause traffic jams, spread hate among youth etc.

And as you know that Valentine's day is approaching soon. So, this is what they have started doing now. They beat couples!! INNOCENT COUPLES, who are just walking on the streets holding hands. And what is the reason that they got beaten by Bajrang Dal? Bajrang Dal members say that it is not an Indian culture to hold hands or celebrate Valentine's day. These hate-loving detectives travel in packs with hockey sticks and lead pipes. They can sniff out hand-holding couples from a mile away. Once they have cornered the poor prey, one of two things can happen: if it’s a Hindu-only couple, they’ll get them married.

And let me remind you the Rights that everyone has while living in India- “Right to freedom”. Exactly, but still you are not much free in this case.

So, if you ask me then, I refer to that pack of sexually-frustrated, culture-spewing, self-righteous scumbags known to us Indians by the name Bajrang Dal. They couldn't find a relationship and that's why they wouldn't let you have one too.

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Is there nothing one can do? Worry not, dear couples. For now you can try these methods below-

1) End your relationship and start listening to emo songs. They are, after all, overrated and will one day end any way. Might as well take matters into your hands. No relationship, no Valentine’s Day celebrations. No celebrations, no getting caught. Okay, sorry this was just a joke. The real methods are below.

2) Join the Bajrang Dal as a couple. Attack others and celebrate your love through the brute force of Indian culture. You might find the couple activity enjoyable and the sheer adrenaline rush from inflicting violence on innocent people just might give your relationship the spice it lacked.

3) For men: wear a rakhi on your hand. The Bajrang Dal and its ilk respect the sanctity of sibling love (even if it is fake). Sure, making out might feel a little awkward, but at least you won’t get killed. Priorities.

4) Pretend you are a married couple. This might take some extra work. You may need to forge some marriage documents, but don’t work too hard on that, for these idiots are most likely not educated enough to begin with. Women, just put on some sindoor and men, just pretend you’re entitled to her. That’s what the ideal Indian marriage looks like anyway. It might help if you borrowed a neighbour’s kid as well, but don’t worry about it much for now.

5) Be a politician’s child - preferably one from the ruling party in your state or country. That way, you can get away with just about anything.

6) Rather than visiting a swanky restaurant or an obnoxiously expensive café, visit a temple. No one will ever doubt your non-pious intentions for each other if you soak it up in enough sanskaar.

7) Wear a Salman Khan mask. You will literally never get into trouble. The legal system in India will vouch for it.

And if anyone reading this answer supports Bajrang Dal, my message to them is just “Get a Life” and stop interfering in others fucking business.